For Love or Money?

Dear Jacqui,

I'm widowed and the single supporter of my still school age daughters and myself. Often, at month’s end, I wonder if I can get by. Financial worries are a constant source of worry. Suddenly the possibility of a new life has presented itself. The man I have been dating for less than a year asked me to marry. I am in deep like with him but am just not sure that I love him. Robert has shown me more kindness than any man I've ever known.  He owns a very successful business and has shown great generosity to us all. My kids like him. My girlfriends tell me to grab him. Yet I keep asking myself if saying yes means settling for money? I’m torn.


Dear Silvia,

Contemplating a life partner is next to impossible without having some fundamental clarity about yourself.  What is important to you, fundamentally?  When struggling with life, proposals such as Robert’s can look mighty attractive.  But the real issue is not his proposal. Ask yourself what kind of life will make you happy and is Robert the man with whom you can co-create a loving marriage?  Forget what your girlfriends say. Listen to your feelings.  Hear what they are telling you and it will be apparent what the right choice is.

By the way, there is nothing wrong in wanting financial security.  It’s an important consideration for both women and men.  It won’t taint you to admit that it is part of the practical and emotional needs.  Sit back, go inside and share your feelings with your man. You can only make each other happy if you both understand your individual needs and desires.


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