To Improve Your Relationship, Accept Fundamental Differences


A major brain study, conducted by University of Pennsylvania neurologists, establishes that women’s and men’s brains are not wired the same ways.
The MRI images clearly showed that gender differences were far more significant than expected; so different, in fact, that it was hard to believe they belonged to the same species.

Men showed more connections between the front and back of their brains and within each hemisphere. In women, there were primarily more connections from side to side, meaning men are more logical and excel at coordination and spatial awareness, while women are far more intuitive, have greater emotional understanding and are better at memorizing words and faces.

Male brains link perception with doing, thus they would be better at, say, learning a new sport. Female brains are superior at handling matters of the heart; they can instantly read others’ behavior and intent. Conclusion: understanding basic differences may be the key to more harmonious relationships.

How men and women differ:

• Attraction: For males the physical comes first. Then his attraction deepens as he gets to know and like her personality. A woman’s attraction depends on her emotional reaction, first and foremost. The physical comes second. This reaction may have an evolutionary basis; women could get pregnant and left without a partner. This may be the fatal fear why her attraction is rooted in security. She trusts and relies on her intuition and emotional response.

• Communication: Watch women communicate. They nod. Sometimes they say “yes” or “I get it”, acknowledging that they are listening by reacting. Guys, on the other hand, often say nothing at all. They sit there seemingly emotionless or distant, as if they’re thinking of something else. This drives women crazy. Fact is, men prefer to listen first, quietly, and think about what was said. That doesn’t mean they’re not listening. They hear you. They just don’t react immediately.

• Commitment: Women often complain that men avoid commitment. Scientific evidence says “not so”. Being more rational, men don’t lead with their emotions and may take their good time to assess that they are making the right choice before committing. A recent survey of married men states that 90% would marry the same partner again. Statistics reveal that men are much quicker to remarry after losing their spouse: over 60% men remarry and only 20% of women do. Six years after divorcing 75% of men are remarried, only 50% of women have tied the knot again.

• Appreciation: Men are not gushy. They show their affection by doing rather than saying: fixing things around the house, watching a football game together. Being there for you is how they convey the message and they thrive on being acknowledged. Women like reassurance, words like “I love you”, “you look pretty”, expressions that produce an emotional reaction.

• Sex: Men want to please you but often don’t know how. Women hesitate to talk frankly about sexual needs. Great intimacy requires knowing how to please your partner. That means being specific, saying what sends you over the moon, what you like, specifically. Kissing, cuddling, touching? Where and how? Men feel they have to be the initiator all the time. They appreciate if you let them know when you’re in the mood. Yes, men stray when they don’t feel wanted and appreciated. But both men and women agree that they enjoy sexuality most in a committed relationship.

Conclusion: accepting gender differences can lead to greater closeness and deeper love.

Jacqui


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