Dear Jacqui,
Well hello, this is a very uncomfortable subject for me to talk about but here I go. I'm a 18 year old female newly married and pregnant, well I have no sexual desire what so ever, I can be aroused but that's about it. I've never had an orgasm.

I have talked to my husband about this and he tries to please me. But nothing he does seems to work. Is there anything you can suggest that will help me get a sexy desire and orgasm? Thank you very much for listening. Sincerely, in need of help, Donna

Dear Donna,
I can understand and feel your pain. Many women go through periods where their sexual desire seems to fail them. This can be due to hormonal problems, which need the attention of a medical specialist or they can be associated with a psychological issue that is buried deep in your feelings.

Have you ever thought about when it all started? Did you feel this way before you were pregnant? Sometimes these feelings are connected with the fact that you are "pregnant." Have the two of you read any books on intimacy together? Have you ever talked about all the detailed aspects of your sexual life? It's certainly worth a try.

Talk openly. Share details. Show him and guide his hands what feels good to you. How you like to be stroked or kissed or touched, and exactly where. Focus on how that feels. Close your eyes. Really experience what it feels to have his hand on you, his finger touch you, his lips kiss you. Think of nothing else. And then find out what he adores that you can do to him. To be loved well and enjoy the pleasure of loving is something people CAN learn.

If you still cannot respond, I suggest you see a therapist and maybe discuss these matters with or without your husband. If cost is a problem, most areas have a Free Counseling Service. They are usually listed in your phone book.

Jacqui

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