Dear Jacqui
I've been divorced and have recently met a new man. Since it is a fairly new relationship I was a bit nervous about our first sexual encounter. Since then we have been together about ten times. Unfortunately, each time I experienced vagisimus (vaginal spasms). What can I do and what is the most potent lubricant to help me?
Maggie

Dear Maggie:
My belief is that you two have intercourse far too early during your love session. My friend, Dr. Gary Schubach, who is a prominent doctor of sexology often says: "Sexuality is not about intercourse, it is about pleasure."

When a man enters a woman too early she is generally not ready and not lubricated enough and vagismus can easily occur. I think this is what may be going on between you. Your "spasms" are most surely emotionally based. Pressures and anxieties are known to cause the kind of physical reactions you describe as "vagisimus," when neither your mind nor your vaginal muscles are relaxed enough to experience the enjoyment that penetration should bring.

Penetration should only happen when both partners are absolutely ready and really wanting it. Dr. Schubach actually believes that a man shouldn't penetrate a woman until she has had at least one orgasm. I think he has a valid point of view. Now, to the lubricant, try Very Private Intimate Moisture which, according to Gary is the most natural, most effective and protective moisturizer/lubricant.

In fact, it is the only vaginal product expressly made to protect the delicate vaginal tissue so couples can have intimacy as long and as often as they want without discomfort. It especially facilitates the beginning of intimacy. Dr. G. sells it to many of his patients. You can read more about it on our product site.

Jacqui

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