Dear Jacqui,
I really hope you can help me with this issue. I am recently divorced, and in a new relationship. My ex-husband was what you might call a quick lover. He learned to make up for his short comings in other ways, foreplay, and even to satisfy me after sex, this was somewhat effective.

My new lover is incredible in the bedroom, but something has happened to me as far as orgasm is concerned. In the past I had been able to achieve orgasm through intercourse now I can't, not even if given a long length of time. I'm just not as sensitive on the inside as I am on the outside. I have heard of creams and medications to help in this department, is there such things and how do they work? I thought I'd ask you before asking my doctor, hoping to spare some embarrassment. Thank you,
Naomi

Dear Naomi,
There may be a change in your hormone levels. This can easily cause a difference in sexual sensitivity and how you experience stimulation. Or, what is also possible is that your psychological and physiological reactions to your new lover are different from your experiences with your ex.

Often women experience sexuality in very different ways with different partners. Sometimes a woman can be completely free with one lover and feel more restricted and less able to enjoy intimacy with a new man. Feelings have their own ways, in a new relationship we tend to be a little more anxious, wanting to please the new partner, which often causes hesitancy in sexual responses. Sometimes our physiological reactions change because our body functions change.

I think you should have your hormone levels checked. And, yes, your doctor can prescribe and appropriate treatment (including a special hormone cream) that may improve your condition. But it is essential that you be properly diagnosed.

Finally, I think it's really courageous that you are taking the necessary steps to deal with your situation. This kind of positive attitude will make it possible for you to build a good relationship, including a wonderful intimate life. You should feel great about seeking answers, and you will find the right way to treat -- what I believe -- is a temporary problem.

Jacqui



			Improving Sex & Intimacy
	"I'm not as sensitive as I use to be, now it's hard to achieve orgasm" Dear Jacqui, I really hope you can help me with this issue. I am recently divorced, and in a new relationship. My ex-husband was what you might call a quick lover. He learned to make up for his short comings in other ways, foreplay, and even to satisfy me after sex, this was somewhat effective. My new lover is incredible in the bedroom, but something has happened to me as far as orgasm is concerned. In the past I had been able to achieve orgasm through intercourse now I can't, not even if given a long length of time. I'm just not as sensitive on the inside as I am on the outside. I have heard of creams and medications to help in this department, is there such things and how do they work? I thought I'd ask you before asking my doctor, hoping to spare some embarrassment. Thank you, Naomi Dear Naomi, There may be a change in your hormone levels. This can easily cause a difference in sexual sensitivity and how you experience stimulation. Or, what is also possible is that your psychological and physiological reactions to your new lover are different from your experiences with your ex. Often women experience sexuality in very different ways with different partners. Sometimes a woman can be completely free with one lover and feel more restricted and less able to enjoy intimacy with a new man. Feelings have their own ways, in a new relationship we tend to be a little more anxious, wanting to please the new partner, which often causes hesitancy in sexual responses. Sometimes our physiological reactions change because our body functions change. I think you should have your hormone levels checked. And, yes, your doctor can prescribe and appropriate treatment (including a special hormone cream) that may improve your condition. But it is essential that you be properly diagnosed. Finally, I think it's really courageous that you are taking the necessary steps to deal with your situation. This kind of positive attitude will make it possible for you to build a good relationship, including a wonderful intimate life. You should feel great about seeking answers, and you will find the right way to treat -- what I believe -- is a temporary problem. Jacqui Copyright 2001 Brandwynne Corporation. All rights reserved. Thank you for your trust.

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