Dear Jacqui,
I had my first pap smear when I was 21. It was so painful that I cried through the entire procedure with a nurse holding me down. I thought that it was just a one time thing because a doctor was down there, but the pain continued when I started having intercourse. Now that I'm 30, I can't get a pap smear done without pain or tears. I'm really afraid of becoming intimate with anyone, afraid that the pain will continue and that it'll never stop hurting. Brenda

Dear Brenda,
Since your doctor who did the pap smear has not found any signs of vaginal health conditions that could cause the pain, I believe that it is quite possible that there is a deeper reason causing you this pain and anxiety. It may be possible that you have experienced childhood trauma that you repress and that haunts you. Today, knowing of the pain, it is obvious that you tighten up when you anticipate penetration, by a doctor or potential lover.

You may wish to seek professional therapy to find a way of exploring possible deep, difficult issues and become free to live and love without the fear of pain. If money is an issue, please call the "Free Clinic" in your area. There are free therapy services available in almost any community. My thoughts are with you and my wishes that you will have the courage to get the help you deserve.

Jacqui

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