Dear Jacqui,
I am 25 years old. Recently I started having sex with my second partner. He is very large. I thought it would just take me a few times to adjust to his size. We have probably had sex about 40 times. It still hurts. I have plenty of lubrication. It is hard for him to even get inside of me at times. Afterwards I hurt. I have pain similar to cramps, but in the center of my abdomen. Before we had sex he was checked for diseases and received a clean bill of health. Is there anything I can do to make sex more enjoyable?
Liz

Dear Liz,
There are a number of ways that you might alleviate the discomfort during sexual intercourse. Firstly, be sure that both of you are really ready for penetration. Intercourse should only happen when both of you absolutely cannot wait another second. Often the women is penetrated too quickly and she is not ready for it, either psychologically or physiologically.

You probably need more foreplay and it is essential that you communicate your needs to your partner. There is no reason in the world to endure pain during and after intimacy. Sex is about pleasure not pain. Since you have experienced pain during intercourse, I am sure you feel somewhat apprehensive about being intimate now. This anxiety most probably makes you tighten up which is quite understandable.

What happens in cases like yours is that the musculature in your vaginal area contracts which makes it even more difficult for you to enjoy entry and penetration. It is even more important to engage in slow, leisurely foreplay so you can relax and become ready for intercourse.

Thirdly, suggest to your partner not to thrust all the way. The fact that you have pain in your abdomen tells me that he might thrust too deeply and bump into your cervix, especially since you mention that he is quite large. And try out different angles and positions for entry that may be more enjoyable for you.

Above all learn to speak up. If your partner cares for your well being and is concerned about your happiness he will be understanding and eager to learn how to please you. Don't be shy. Be detailed. Tell him what feels good to you. Be specific about where you want to be touched or kisses or stroked and encourage him to share his preferences so you can work out a loving and exciting sexual life together. If the pain continues, it might be advisable to see a gynecologist. There always is the possibility of an infection that might cause the problem.

Jacqui




		Painful Sex
	My partner is large and it causes painful sex. Dear Jacqui, I am 25 years old. Recently I started having sex with my second partner. He is very large. I thought it would just take me a few times to adjust to his size. We have probably had sex about 40 times. It still hurts. I have plenty of lubrication. It is hard for him to even get inside of me at times. Afterwards I hurt. I have pain similar to cramps, but in the center of my abdomen. Before we had sex he was checked for diseases and received a clean bill of health. Is there anything I can do to make sex more enjoyable? Liz Dear Liz, There are a number of ways that you might alleviate the discomfort during sexual intercourse. Firstly, be sure that both of you are really ready for penetration. Intercourse should only happen when both of you absolutely cannot wait another second. Often the women is penetrated too quickly and she is not ready for it, either psychologically or physiologically. You probably need more foreplay and it is essential that you communicate your needs to your partner. There is no reason in the world to endure pain during and after intimacy. Sex is about pleasure not pain. Since you have experienced pain during intercourse, I am sure you feel somewhat apprehensive about being intimate now. This anxiety most probably makes you tighten up which is quite understandable. What happens in cases like yours is that the musculature in your vaginal area contracts which makes it even more difficult for you to enjoy entry and penetration. It is even more important to engage in slow, leisurely foreplay so you can relax and become ready for intercourse. Thirdly, suggest to your partner not to thrust all the way. The fact that you have pain in your abdomen tells me that he might thrust too deeply and bump into your cervix, especially since you mention that he is quite large. And try out different angles and positions for entry that may be more enjoyable for you. Above all learn to speak up. If your partner cares for your well being and is concerned about your happiness he will be understanding and eager to learn how to please you. Don't be shy. Be detailed. Tell him what feels good to you. Be specific about where you want to be touched or kisses or stroked and encourage him to share his preferences so you can work out a loving and exciting sexual life together. If the pain continues, it might be advisable to see a gynecologist. There always is the possibility of an infection that might cause the problem. Jacqui Copyright 2001 Brandwynne Corporation. All rights reserved.

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