Dear Jacqui,
My wife gets more distant everyday. We go weeks at time without intimacy. She always has excuses not to engage. She spends us into poverty, but it's because she's taking care of all the bills. She sits on her computer for hours without any interaction with me at all. She loses herself in some "chat and posting board". She has time for everything but me.

I try talking to her about it, but she always shifts the discussion so that I end up the "unreasonable" one for wanting intimacy so much. We mate only slightly more often than seven year locusts. Mostly all we do is fight about it. I'm desperate. I don't know how much longer I can tolerate it. I admit my faults and try to work on them. I make a concerted effort to be clean, to be loving, to do things for her. I try hard to be romantic, but it's difficult when she never responds to my overtures.
Robert

Dear Robert,
I really commend you for writing to me. You seem like such a caring and positive person and I admire your resolve to try to bring about a change in your relationship. But, as you know, it takes two to resolve partnership issues.

From your description I believe that you are quite right. Your wife displays all the classical symptoms of a person that is depressed and has low self-esteem. So the first step to take is for both of you to seek the help of a therapist. Each community has free guidance services. You will probably find it under "Free Clinic".

Or you might call the American Psychiatric Association for guidance. Look up some resources on our advice site, left hand-side under medical and psychological help resources. By airing your problems together, she might be motivated to seek help for her personal problems and find a way to come to terms with the, which is always the prerequisite to live in harmony with someone else.

When you approach her with these thoughts, be caring and loving. Find a way to get her away from the everyday environment. Maybe plan a special Sunday together.. Go to a fun movie. Then, possibly have dinner out so that the setting is more inviting for both of you to communicate.

Start by making a rule that in the discussion you both will avoid at all costs to accuse each other. Just tell her how much she still means to you and that you are desperately trying to find a way to make life better and more loving for the both of you. As she learns to feel better about herself she will naturally be able to open up and be more loving to others.

Jacqui





	"My wife never wants any intimacy, what is wrong?" Dear Jacqui, My wife gets more distant everyday. We go weeks at time without intimacy. She always has excuses not to engage. She spends us into poverty, but it's because she's taking care of all the bills. She sits on her computer for hours without any interaction with me at all. She loses herself in some "chat and posting board". She has time for everything but me. I try talking to her about it, but she always shifts the discussion so that I end up the "unreasonable" one for wanting intimacy so much. We mate only slightly more often than seven year locusts. Mostly all we do is fight about it. I'm desperate. I don't know how much longer I can tolerate it. I admit my faults and try to work on them. I make a concerted effort to be clean, to be loving, to do things for her. I try hard to be romantic, but it's difficult when she never responds to my overtures. Robert Dear Robert, I really commend you for writing to me. You seem like such a caring and positive person and I admire your resolve to try to bring about a change in your relationship. But, as you know, it takes two to resolve partnership issues. From your description I believe that you are quite right. Your wife displays all the classical symptoms of a person that is depressed and has low self-esteem. So the first step to take is for both of you to seek the help of a therapist. Each community has free guidance services. You will probably find it under "Free Clinic". Or you might call the American Psychiatric Association for guidance. Look up some resources on our advice site, left hand-side under medical and psychological help resources. By airing your problems together, she might be motivated to seek help for her personal problems and find a way to come to terms with the, which is always the prerequisite to live in harmony with someone else. When you approach her with these thoughts, be caring and loving. Find a way to get her away from the everyday environment. Maybe plan a special Sunday together.. Go to a fun movie. Then, possibly have dinner out so that the setting is more inviting for both of you to communicate. Start by making a rule that in the discussion you both will avoid at all costs to accuse each other. Just tell her how much she still means to you and that you are desperately trying to find a way to make life better and more loving for the both of you. As she learns to feel better about herself she will naturally be able to open up and be more loving to others. Jacqui Copyright 2001 Brandwynne Corporation. All rights reserved. Thank you for your trust.

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