Dear Jacqui,
I am a 28 year old mother. Me and my future husband have been through a lot together. I want to lose my inhibitions with him. I've had relationships before and I was never like this. I don't understand why I can't just let go and enjoy the things he wants to do.

There's nothing wrong with him. A lot of times I want to talk dirty or do different things but for some reason I just can't. Why? I'm very self conscious about myself with him, but we have been together through all of our ups and downs going on 11 years now. What do you think the problem is? Cindy

Dear Cindy,
Many women share your problem. They can be totally free with one lover and feel shy and inhibited with another man. This problem has to do with the feelings you have vested in your man and your fear of displeasing him or even loosing him if you don't meet the expectations or image he has of you.

You tell me that you would like to "talk dirty" and "just let go and enjoy the things he wants to do." The only person that censures you is you. The only person that won't allow you to be yourself is you, not your future husband. So clearly you must ask yourself why you don't let yourself go, why you are afraid of being yourself?

What is the worst thing that could possibly happen if you did? In sexuality there are no rules other than not to hurt your partner. Great intimacy is firstly based on understanding one's own feeling and then, secondly, being able to share these feelings in an open and frank way with your partner.

This kind of intimate exchange seems to be lacking between the two of you, or, maybe it's just you who feels afraid to say what's on your mind and to give expression to your feelings and desires. I commend you for facing up to the issues and writing to me. Maybe now you may find the courage to discuss these subjects with your husband.

The more you share the intimate details of what each of you like, what excites each of you and maybe show each other the very ways that give you most pleasure, the more you will enjoy your relationship, including your sexual life together. If it is really hard for you to open up, you might consider seeking the help of a sexual therapist or counselor.

You can find the appropriate resources by clicking on our medical and psychological resource list on the www.veryprivate.com website

Jacqui




		Young Love
	"I want to lose my inhibitions with him. I've had relationships before and I was never like this."" Dear Jacqui, I am a 28 year old mother. Me and my future husband have been through a lot together. I want to lose my inhibitions with him. I've had relationships before and I was never like this. I don't understand why I can't just let go and enjoy the things he wants to do. There's nothing wrong with him. A lot of times I want to talk dirty or do different things but for some reason I just can't. Why? I'm very self conscious about myself with him, but we have been together through all of our ups and downs going on 11 years now. What do you think the problem is? Cindy Dear Cindy, Many women share your problem. They can be totally free with one lover and feel shy and inhibited with another man. This problem has to do with the feelings you have vested in your man and your fear of displeasing him or even loosing him if you don't meet the expectations or image he has of you. You tell me that you would like to "talk dirty" and "just let go and enjoy the things he wants to do." The only person that censures you is you. The only person that won't allow you to be yourself is you, not your future husband. So clearly you must ask yourself why you don't let yourself go, why you are afraid of being yourself? What is the worst thing that could possibly happen if you did? In sexuality there are no rules other than not to hurt your partner. Great intimacy is firstly based on understanding one's own feeling and then, secondly, being able to share these feelings in an open and frank way with your partner. This kind of intimate exchange seems to be lacking between the two of you, or, maybe it's just you who feels afraid to say what's on your mind and to give expression to your feelings and desires. I commend you for facing up to the issues and writing to me. Maybe now you may find the courage to discuss these subjects with your husband. The more you share the intimate details of what each of you like, what excites each of you and maybe show each other the very ways that give you most pleasure, the more you will enjoy your relationship, including your sexual life together. If it is really hard for you to open up, you might consider seeking the help of a sexual therapist or counselor. You can find the appropriate resources by clicking on our medical and psychological resource list on the www.veryprivate.com website Jacqui Copyright 2001 Brandwynne Corporation. All rights reserved.

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