Dear Jacqui,
I am 27 years old and I've been married for 3 years. My husband has been using condoms for the last three months. My uterus doesn't get wet even after a little foreplay and so I began using Vaseline cream for lubrication. My doctor, however, says it's bad so I switched to coconut oil for lubrication.

I'm worried because I have heard that even one little sperm can make me pregnant. I am tall and have no problems so where does the problem lie? As my area doesn't get wet, the first insertion gives me pain and then it is okay. Can you tell me how I can get pregnant?
Bobby Jo

Dear Bobby Jo,
Reviewing the symptoms you describe in your letter, I suspect that you are not as relaxed as you should be when participating in sexual activity. Intimacy, for both partners, should be a deeply pleasurable and fulfilling experience.

Your lack of lubrication and the pain you describe signals to me that there either is a physiological or psychological issue, or possibly a combination of the two, that hinders you from enjoying the experience.

First of all I suggest that you start using an intimate moisturizer such as FDA approved Very Private Intimate Moisture before intimacy. It will facilitate the beginning of intimacy, increase your available intimate moisture, protect your tissue and make intimacy a great deal more comfortable, and as many people report, a lot more pleasurable. It is of the greatest importance that you use a product that is safe (FDA approved) and specifically formulated for the vagina, certainly not Vaseline or coconut oil which your doctor advised you not to use.

Secondly, I wonder if you engage in sufficient foreplay. On the average a woman requires fifteen minutes to reach complete vaginal relaxation and readiness to be entered. Men are ready much quicker and in many cases penetrate too quickly which then causes the kind of pain you describe.

For vaginal cleansing, be sure to avoid any products containing fragrance, chemical dyes or plant additives. These ingredients are very drying. Again, use a pH balanced body wash or soap such as Very Private Body Wash or Basis Soap. You can find these products on our website: www.veryprivate.com.

Finally, you tell me that you stopped using condoms three months ago so you can become pregnant. That is not a very long time if you think that there are only few days in each month during which conception can happen. I suggest you discuss with your gynecologist how to identify your "fertile" days.Above all, it is well known that women conceive more easily when they're relaxed and enjoy intimacy.

Jacqui

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