Dear Jacqui:
My partner and I have been together for almost 5 years. There is a 20 year age difference between us, him being 60. Our sex life has been wonderful and our relationship very close. In the past few months, however, I've noticed that he masturbates in his sleep, even after intercourse. This has me confused.

I wonder if I am really not satisfying him. We have spoken about this and he says that he really doesn't realize what he is doing. I feel that he is trying to spare my feelings. He says that I satisfy him and wants me to "stop" him when he is doing this. I don't know what to do.

Dear Writer:
What you should do is realize above all that you have something very precious in your life that millions of people seek; a loving, intimate relationship and a happy sexual life. Probably your partner developed the habit of masturbation when there wasn't a permanent lady in his life. That should not threaten you. It is a really positive sign that you can discuss the issue with him in an open and caring way and that he is wishful of making changes.

Both your positive attitudes and openness to each other shows me how worth while this relationship is and how mature both of you are. I am sure you will work it out together. There isn't a relationship that is completely problem free. The way we grow is by solving the difficulties in our lives in a positive way. I know you can do it.

Jacqui

Copyright 2000 Barndwynne Corporation. All rights reserved.