Dear Jacqui,
Ever since I've started having some recurring female problems my husband doesn't want to have sex. When we rarely have sex it was painful. Also after coming home a little tipsy, my husband admitted that he's not been sexually fulfilled for the past 25 years that we've been married. His admission broke my heart. Ashley

Dear Ashley,
It seems like you both have gone through difficult times. There is a possibility that some physical and emotional problems have become intertwined and seem insurmountable at this time. You probably feel desperate and exhausted and your husband may also feel isolated and misunderstood as well. Yet, all said and done, you should both work to keep this union alive and happy.

This means both partners have a lot of feelings invested and deep down both of you hope and want to find a way back to each other. I must say that unless you and your husband have the willingness and commit to working things out, step-by-step, you both will continue to live unfulfilled lives.

So, something has to give. I strongly suggest that you seek advice and help from a professional trained in couple therapy, at least to get the process of rapprochement going. In many communities these services are available for free or little compensation. It might also be advisable for you to attend a couple's workshop.

It is quite clear to me that this marriage requires some outside help to open the lines of communication and address the many misunderstandings that has grown over time. If you both have the will you may just end up with a stronger and more loving relationship. I wish you the courage to go forward.

Jacqui

Copyright 2001 Brandwynne Corporation. All rights reserved. Thank you for your trust.