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Sex & Intimacy |
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by Patricia Taylor, phD My husband, Allan and I had been married twelve years. Each of us could remember those first months of urgent passion, the electricity of even accidental touch, the glorious rolls in the hay. When did the heat begin to fade to a pleasant, yet (let's admit it) tedious "sex life?" Despite the vacations intended to rekindle the fire and the books and courses on hot marriage. As we observed the antics of the singles in their social group constantly changing partners and living and reliving those initial passionate times we wondered whether there was any way to have more passion in our basically sound and loving relationship.And then we discovered something called Expanded Orgasm, and it profoundly changed our lives and relationship forever. What is Expanded Orgasm? Sexologists tell us that physically, an orgasm (both men's and women's) is accompanied by a sudden increase in traffic over the sensory nerves in the pelvis, and 8-10 contractions of muscles in the pelvic organs. Each contraction lasts less than a second. The salient features of orgasm include: -Genital stimulation Some people (usually but not always women) can have multiple orgasm climbing to one or more additional peaks shortly following the let down period after a regular orgasm. Otherwise, not much different. Things really start to get interesting with extended orgasm. Usually accessed by a combination of genital and G-area touch, a person in extended orgasm rides the waves of orgasmic energy to successively higher peaks, but does not crest over and topple into the let down period. Extended orgasm is like surfing a succession of ever-higher waves, and involves learning to ride the orgasmic energy for long periods of time often over an hour. And expanded orgasm? But the distinguishing expansion is in the sense of space. There is the sense of one's entire body having the orgasm, of reaching for an even larger body in which to put all that orgasmic pleasure. Let's hear about expanded orgasm from Patricia and Allan. Patricia: First my pelvis, abdomen, and loins feel tingly. And, as he keeps touching me in that perfect place, my whole body fills with sensation. Soon, I am vibrating ecstatically from head to toe, and he could touch me anywhere and it would be orgasmic. I now feel so filled up from our lovemaking." Allan: "As a man, I had learned as a child how to get off quick. I was wired to find the orgasm road, and to stay on it until I burst. I had to learn to feel the pleasure in my entire body. But now I feel like I can come in every cell, and the pleasure is much greater than any 'regular' orgasm. And I appreciate Patricia so much more! She can give me so much more pleasure than I had ever dreamed." So let's compare regular with expanded orgasm: Regular orgasm it's goal oriented. It feels extremely good, but only for a few seconds, and there is often a physical and mental let down period immediately afterwards. It can be an effective tension release and, of course, it can create a sense of bonding with your partner. Expanded orgasm the goal is simply to feel as much of that compelling pleasure as possible. Many people use expanded orgasm to access "expanded" or non-ordinary states of awareness, to achieve a sense of wholeness. They report effects of expanded orgasm sessions in the rest of their lives (see Benefits). The sense of connection that's reported with themselves and their partners can be profound and life-changing. What are the Benefits of Expanded Orgasm? Unfortunately, the benefits of any form of orgasm have not been well studied. (It seems we are much more willing to study pain than pleasure). However, there are definite physiological, hormonal and biochemical changes associated with regular orgasm, and there are reported benefits for extended and expanded orgasm. Some of the fascinating reported benefits of expanded orgasm (now beginning to be studied) include: -Reduction in "sympathetic" (adrenaline-like) nervous function Increase in "parasympathetic" (associated with relaxation and well-being) function. Resulting in a balance between the two "yin/yang" functions of the nervous system -A release of beneficial hormones and balancing of their levels How Can You Learn Expanded Orgasm? If you are already orgasmic, then to learning to receive expanded orgasm is a matter of practice, and of allowing yourself to surrender to ever increasing amounts of sensation and pleasure. Just knowing it is possible and attainable is an excellent first step. Learning to give expanded orgasms also requires some education and training. It is essential to know what pleasure is possible to give to another person, and how to experience their pleasure. The giver learns how to put all of his or her attention on the partner while giving the expanded orgasm. It will feel just as good to the receiver as to the giver. By Patricia Taylor, phD www.expanded-orgasm.com and www.tantralasvegas.com Copyright 2003 Brandwynne Corporation. All rights reserved. |
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