Today I would like to talk about the subject of seduction. I get many emails from both men and women. Let me read one.

Dear Jacqui,
We have a good relationship and I love my husband. Except, he really would like it if I were more of a seductress. I just don't know how. I'm not good at it. I do have all kinds of sexual fantasies and desires but I can't even talk about them or do anything about them? I would love to become a better lover, but how?

Dear Cindy,
Lots of women would like to be more aggressive in the bedroom but feel awkward about it. Most me would love it if their partner would be the initiator now and then. Young girls are usually taught to leave the role of aggressor to the man. That's how they grow up, with that belief. And these early teachings or maybe even demonstrations in your parent's home become deeply ingrained in us and set the pattern for our own ability to love and be loved. It is quite possible that you witness your mother's shyness or that she told you a man is the active partner in lovemaking.

But intimacy is not about rules and roles but about giving and receiving pleasure. Just because you grew up with a specific belief system it doesn't mean that you should be following those rules all your life and be hindered by them. Let go of it and follow your feelings. What could possible happen if you shared these with your husband? He most probably would love to hear that there is so much more desire, depth of feeling with you that you are willing to share.

There is no reason that your dreams and fantasies cannot be fulfilled. That is how you build trust, closeness and intimacy. Be yourself not who your Mom and Dad told you to be. Coming to terms with your inner feelings is the first step followed by learning about love and sexuality. Read a book or two about it. How can you know what you've never learned? The more you know about it the more comfortable you will feel about the subject. As your mind and heart opens and you might welcome the opportunity to more of a seductress.

There are many charming ways in which you can give him the message. Just thinking about it can get you quite excited. You could greet him at the door with a long soulful kiss and really hold him tight instead of greeting him with the usual "hi darling, how was your day?" You could wear something provocative like a SEXY LITTLE miniskirt over naked legs rather that your jogging suit that signals an evening of dinner and television. You could play the music that has special meaning for both of you and offer him a back massage with aromatic potions.

A friend of mine taped a message on the front door "follow these notes," it said. When he entered the house he noticed more notes on the staircase leading upstairs. They read, "guess what's waiting for you?" A sharing love life is a key building block for a closer, happier, more intimate relationship and that's what we're all trying to achieve. This is Jacqui and I hope you tune in next week to share some Very Private moments.

Jacqui (top)


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Q & A: Get personal answers about your physical or emotional intimacy and relationship problems. By submitting your question or letter, or by reading or using the Very Private web site, you grant Very Private full complete rights to its use and contents and agree and approve to the Terms and Conditions. (more radio show links at end of article) "How to be more of a seductress" Very Private Radio Show March 6, 2002 Today I would like to talk about the subject of seduction. I get many emails from both men and women. Let me read one. Dear Jacqui, We have a good relationship and I love my husband. Except, he really would like it if I were more of a seductress. I just don't know how. I'm not good at it. I do have all kinds of sexual fantasies and desires but I can't even talk about them or do anything about them? I would love to become a better lover, but how? Dear Cindy, Lots of women would like to be more aggressive in the bedroom but feel awkward about it. Most me would love it if their partner would be the initiator now and then. Young girls are usually taught to leave the role of aggressor to the man. That's how they grow up, with that belief. And these early teachings or maybe even demonstrations in your parent's home become deeply ingrained in us and set the pattern for our own ability to love and be loved. It is quite possible that you witness your mother's shyness or that she told you a man is the active partner in lovemaking. But intimacy is not about rules and roles but about giving and receiving pleasure. Just because you grew up with a specific belief system it doesn't mean that you should be following those rules all your life and be hindered by them. Let go of it and follow your feelings. What could possible happen if you shared these with your husband? He most probably would love to hear that there is so much more desire, depth of feeling with you that you are willing to share. There is no reason that your dreams and fantasies cannot be fulfilled. That is how you build trust, closeness and intimacy. Be yourself not who your Mom and Dad told you to be. Coming to terms with your inner feelings is the first step followed by learning about love and sexuality. Read a book or two about it. How can you know what you've never learned? The more you know about it the more comfortable you will feel about the subject. As your mind and heart opens and you might welcome the opportunity to more of a seductress. There are many charming ways in which you can give him the message. Just thinking about it can get you quite excited. You could greet him at the door with a long soulful kiss and really hold him tight instead of greeting him with the usual "hi darling, how was your day?" You could wear something provocative like a SEXY LITTLE miniskirt over naked legs rather that your jogging suit that signals an evening of dinner and television. You could play the music that has special meaning for both of you and offer him a back massage with aromatic potions. A friend of mine taped a message on the front door "follow these notes," it said. When he entered the house he noticed more notes on the staircase leading upstairs. They read, "guess what's waiting for you?" A sharing love life is a key building block for a closer, happier, more intimate relationship and that's what we're all trying to achieve. This is Jacqui and I hope you tune in next week to share some Very Private moments. Jacqui (top) MORE RADIO SHOWS BACK TO RADIO SHOW HOME PAGE Thank you for your trust. Copyright 2002 Brandwynne Corp. All rights reserved.