a happier life"
Dear Jacqui,
My husband and I are living under the same roof, but we are not really in each other's lives. Our conversations are polite but meaningless. Our lovemaking is mechanical, almost a chore. We don't want to split. We desperately want this New Year to be different. What can we do? Lois and Fred.
Dear Lois and Fred,
Bravo for realizing that you need to take action in order to change your lives. Here's a program that truly works in recapturing happiness but only if you seriously want it to work.
Week one: Say yes to change?
Not dramatic changes, just little steps? Allow at least fifteen minutes of daily communication from the heart. Agree to let go of one negative habit each day such as hiding behind hurtful silence or polite conversations. Be real.
Express how you feel. Avoid accusations. Seek words and ways to become closer. Review the progress you're making and praise each other; for smiling, for bringing home flowers, for preparing your favorite breakfast.Then watch how you can make your partner feel really cherished.
Week two:
Refreshing your relationship requires renewing yourself? Take a good look at the things you like about yourself? Then add the negative stuff to the list, the habits that hinder you from enjoying life. Things like avoiding sensitive issues till they become overwhelming, letting doubt jeopardize achieving your goals; not being loving for fear of being rejected. Positive doing results in positive feeling.
Recognize that you own your habits. You can modulate them, change them or drop them. Once you identify destructive behavior visualize that you attach it to an inner alarm. Each time you're about to fall back into an old hurtful habit let it go off and warn you so you can stop your action.
Week three:
Embrace the positive. Look for the good things each day. Valuate all the things that are right with your life, your partner, friends, your talents or work. List these positives next to the characteristics you like about yourself. Start each day by reading both life-affirming columns.
Week four:
Add a little spice. Reinvent lovemaking; where, how and when you do it. Share a sexy story; view a video to expand the sensual realm. Admit to each other what you would like to happen in bed and out. Agree that everything is open for review; how you spend each day, the weekend, your vacation, anything. For starters try a few minutes of real good hugging before you get out of bed. It turns the sunshine on, inside.
Week five:
Express your needs and wishes.Your partner can only fulfill them if you let him or her make you happy. Good loving is giving and taking. It's knowing what you want and learning to make yourselves happy, as well as each other.
Start by viewing yourself and your partner in a new light. You can do it. Sign here___________ for happiness and live a truly HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Jacqui
E-mail Jacqui your question to Jacqui at info@veryprivate.com or regular mail: PO Box 491341, Los Angeles, CA 90049. Visit: www.veryprivate.com. We never reveal or give out names or addresses. © 2003 Brandwynne Corp. All rights reserved.
Presenting Column
Reaching over
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