I settle for money?"
Dear Jacqui,
I'm divorced and the single supporter of my teenage daughter and myself. It's been tough going. Often I worried how to make ends meet. Suddenly life is offering me a great opportunity. The man I have been dating for less than a year has suggested that we get engaged on Valentine's Day.
I like him enormously but I'm not sure if I love him. Max has shown me more kindness than any man I've ever known. He owns a successful business and has been very generous to both of us. My girlfriends tell me to grab him. Does that mean I settle for money? Why am I torn? Silvia
Dear Silvia,
Contemplating a life partner is next to impossible without having some fundamental knowledge about yourself. When people get caught up struggling with life, proposals such as Max is offering you can look mighty attractive.
But the real issue is not his proposal. What you should ask yourself, Silvia, is what kind of life will make you happy and is Max the man with whom you can co-create what you seek? Forget what your girlfriends say. When contemplating spending a lifetime with someone, spend some time with yourself listening to your feelings. Hear what they are telling you and it will be apparent what the right choice is.
I suggest you make a wish list. There is nothing wrong in wanting financial security. It won't taint you to admit that it is part of the practical and emotional needs that will make you content. Once you learn what's important to you share it with your future mate. You can only make each other happy if you both understand your individual needs and desires.
A good idea is to spend some continuous time together, maybe take a leave of absence or spend a vacation, so you can get a feeling about daily life with each other. I suggest you tell Max that you feel honored and special about his proposal but that you need a little time to sort out some personal issues so that you can make this most important life decision with complete confidence and full commitment.
Jacqui
E-mail Jacqui your question to Jacqui at info@veryprivate.com or regular mail: PO Box 491341, Los Angeles, CA 90049. Visit: www.veryprivate.com. We never reveal or give out names or addresses. © 2003 Brandwynne Corp. All rights reserved. Tune into the Very Private Radio Show on the web site.
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