Learning to control stress is based on a determined ongoing pursuit that leads to better health and a more contented life. There are a number of studies that demonstrate that stress reduction reduces the risk of heart attack by a significant number and is a big factor in either causing illness or keeping illness away.

So what can we do about it? First of all we must recognize that stress affects every human being differently so there is no universal formula for everybody. But each of us can learn to deal with stress in a more positive way. There are a number of recognized methods that will help you specifically in reducing stress in your life.

Learn to discern that there is different kind of stress. Some stress situations are in your control and you can do something about them, some are not. The key to coping with the second kind is learning to accept the things we can't change. If your serious about reducing stress in your life, make a stress list. Put down all the activities and reasons that cause you stress, anxiety, anger in order of importance, most stress ? least stress.

If you are in a long-term relationship or marriage, you might decide to do the project together and reinforce each other. You start by reflecting which of your stress situations could you eliminate in your life? Really make an effort to let go of them.

Now decide which stress causer you can neutralize, i.e. you can you change the stress situation or your attitude so they become manageable.

Finally see if some of these chores or situations or people problems can be turned around so they become pleasurable.To identify and work with your "stress file" becomes your first plan of action. Then let your partner help you or help yourself in making a mental mark for "your bad stress situations" so you recognize them the moment they begin to manifest themselves.

In other words, become conscious to words or situations that cause you stress. Add three positive things each day, banish three negatives. Research proves that being good to yourself, giving yourself the permission to enjoy, putting some humor in your day, experiencing the joy of small pleasures each day goes a long way of offsetting stress.

So why not plan a mini vacation over a long weekend, find time for a massage, mark one evening every week for a special dinner with your partner or your friends with pretty table setting, maybe a few flowers, candlelight, a bottle of wine simply because you deserve it.

Sign up for a course in a subject you always wanted to know about.To redress negativity, identify three things to which you regularly have a negative reaction. Work hard on changing your attitude by being in touch with your feelings.

Find the right time and forum to express them without anger, even if you have to write them down in your diary, you will feel a lightening of your burden. Your feelings are always real. It is really important to acknowledge them, to share them. If you do not have a partner presently, build your own support group among your friends.

Explore some of the known relaxation techniques: Exercise, yoga, meditation, bio-feedback, different massage therapies, listening to music, engaging in your preferred sport more often, working with your hands, taking time for lovemaking, learning a craft, painting, or improving any activity that you love. Give yourself the gift of time to enjoy.

If you feel "stressed," angry or depressed a great deal of the time, recognize your vulnerability and give yourself the permission to seek professional help. This is an admission of courage and strength, not of weakness. Always remember, you have a great deal of control to affect the fabric of your life in a positive way. Have a Healthy New Year.

Jacqui
You can mail your own question to Jacqui at: PO Box 491341, Los Angeles, CA 90049. Or E-mail her at: info@veryprivate.com For more information visit: www.veryprivate.com. We never reveal or give out names or addresses. © 2003 Brandwynne Corp. All rights reserved.