Newspaper Column: August, 2004

For a happier, more intimate relationship.

“Four Secrets That Make For Happiness!”

Many guys agree on this one. Don’t pounce!
When he comes home give him “cool down time”. Let him sit down, maybe have a beer or glass of wine and give him time to watch his news show before you say “Hi honey, tell me about your day and Oh my God, you won’t believe what happened to me.” Men like a pause after their active day before they enter the private space with you.

Women long for a little more intimacy, please.
You’ve been together a long time. The patterns are established, almost a little too routine. Introduce a loving call or e-mail for no reason at all. Do it in the middle of your workday just to let her know how much you care about her even if it is out of character for you. Just experience how happy she is to know how much she means to you. If you’ve never done it, it’s high time to start making her feel cherished. You may like it as much as she does, especially when you experience the positive reaction.

What does your partner love most?
Do you really know what puts your partner in the mood? What is the turn-on? When asked many partners answer “I’m not sure”. To be shy about asking your mate about romantic preferences is a recipe for a mediocre intimate life or worse. Sexual intimacy is not a guessing game but part of loving fully, exchanging actions and feelings to make each other happy. To do so we must know what pleases our partner. How she or he likes to be touched, kissed, stroked, what sends them to the moon. Is there a spot on the neck that she finds especially sensitive when kissed, a little place on the thigh that causes shivers running up and down his spine? Is certain music a turn-on, does a body rub do the trick or dancing cheek to cheek, something she wears, something he does? The more details you are willing to share the better. Knowledge of each other’s preferences is the key of being successful in understanding and fulfilling your partner. My suggestion is for both of you to write a very specific list about what you like, where you like to be kissed, stroked, touched. Be open about your dreams, wishes and sexual fantasies. Exchange your list and talk about it outside the bedroom, please. Then apply your new knowledge and find a deeper level of sharing.

So simple yet…can you do it?
A very happily married woman recently shared her philosophy that, she believes, is it the key to creating a truly loving bond. Every day she finds a reason to acknowledge something nice her husband did or said. And every single day she reminds herself to focus on the things she really likes about him. At the same time she has accomplished to ban from her mind his habits and actions that would bother her if she allowed herself to dwell on these negatives. “ I let him be who he is and reinforce my loving feelings by focusing on the good things about him.” It sounds so simple. Yet it takes development and maturity to learn to be accepting and non judgmental, to appreciate your partner just the way he or she is. The good part about this advice is that we own our feelings, we control our words and actions which means it’s up to us to achieve a deeper level of happiness if we are willing to do the necessary work on ourselves.

E-mail Jacqui your question: info@veryprivate.com or by regular mail to: PO Box 491341, Los Angeles, CA 90049. Visit: www.veryprivate.com. We never reveal or give out names or addresses. © 2004 Brandwynne Corp. All rights reserved.

List of Newspapers
Presenting Column
Reaching over
8.9 Million Readers

July 2004
"He pressures me to have sex but I'm not ready. What do I do?"

June 2004
What is intimacy?

May 2004
Chemistry?

April 2004
She just kept spending and i didn't put my foot down

March 2004
What men would like you to know but don't dare talk about

February 2004
Overcoming the fear of loving?

January 2004
Age difference - can it work?

December 2003
The fifteen minutes love investment plan

July 2003
The fifteen minutes love investment plan

June 2003
Falling in love - the unconscious did it

May 2003
Couples and Intimacy - the Basics!

April 2003
43% of American women are sexually dysfunctional? Hype or Reality?

March 2003
How to reconnect when suddenly single at age 50,because of divorce or widowhood?

February 2003
When "if'" onlys stands in the way of love.

January 2003
The Knight to solve your relationship problems is in your heart.

December 2002
How Can I get him to act?

November 2002
Winning against yourself

October 2002
Recapture health & energy

September 2002
I'm terrified of getting hurt again

August 2002
Low self-esteem, is there a way I can change?

July 2002
Stop the hurting and start the loving

June 2002
The Cat or Me?

May 2002
A female co-worker is edging in on our marriage

April 2002
He lost his job and takes it out on me.

March 2002
Turf issues: Old friends vs. a new partner.

February 2002:
If I say yes, does it mean I settle for money?

January 2002
Sign here for a happier life.

December 2001
Give each other the gift of good communication.

November 2001
Turning negative fear into positive energy.

October 2001
What's essential to make a relationship work?

September 2001
My husband say's UV rays can cause considerable eye damage.

August 2001
His jealousy is causing a lot of tension and I'm very concerned about losing him.

July 2001
How to put romance into your vacation.

June 2001
Ten good minutes daily equals a closer relationship.

May 2001
My wife's doctor never mentioned the risks in taking estrogen!

April 2001
I can't keep up and he feels cheated. Shouldn't a 64 year old male be slowing down?

March 2001
He admitted he still loved his ex, but wasn't "in love" with her.

February 2001
Even while we're making love I feel like I'm not really participating.

January 2001
Lack of staying power can it be helped?

December 2000
A Holiday Gift: Less Stress, More Joy.

October 1999
I'm fifty-six years old and still suffer from minor menopause symptoms.


	Newspaper Column: August, 2004

	For a happier, more intimate relationship.
	“Four Secrets That Make For Happiness!” Many guys agree on this one. Don’t pounce! When he comes home give him “cool down time”. Let him sit down, maybe have a beer or glass of wine and give him time to watch his news show before you say “Hi honey, tell me about your day and Oh my God, you won’t believe what happened to me.” Men like a pause after their active day before they enter the private space with you. Women long for a little more intimacy, please. You’ve been together a long time. The patterns are established, almost a little too routine. Introduce a loving call or e-mail for no reason at all. Do it in the middle of your workday just to let her know how much you care about her even if it is out of character for you. Just experience how happy she is to know how much she means to you. If you’ve never done it, it’s high time to start making her feel cherished. You may like it as much as she does, especially when you experience the positive reaction. What does your partner love most? Do you really know what puts your partner in the mood? What is the turn-on? When asked many partners answer “I’m not sure”. To be shy about asking your mate about romantic preferences is a recipe for a mediocre intimate life or worse. Sexual intimacy is not a guessing game but part of loving fully, exchanging actions and feelings to make each other happy. To do so we must know what pleases our partner. How she or he likes to be touched, kissed, stroked, what sends them to the moon. Is there a spot on the neck that she finds especially sensitive when kissed, a little place on the thigh that causes shivers running up and down his spine? Is certain music a turn-on, does a body rub do the trick or dancing cheek to cheek, something she wears, something he does? The more details you are willing to share the better. Knowledge of each other’s preferences is the key of being successful in understanding and fulfilling your partner. My suggestion is for both of you to write a very specific list about what you like, where you like to be kissed, stroked, touched. Be open about your dreams, wishes and sexual fantasies. Exchange your list and talk about it outside the bedroom, please. Then apply your new knowledge and find a deeper level of sharing. So simple yet…can you do it? A very happily married woman recently shared her philosophy that, she believes, is it the key to creating a truly loving bond. Every day she finds a reason to acknowledge something nice her husband did or said. And every single day she reminds herself to focus on the things she really likes about him. At the same time she has accomplished to ban from her mind his habits and actions that would bother her if she allowed herself to dwell on these negatives. “ I let him be who he is and reinforce my loving feelings by focusing on the good things about him.” It sounds so simple. Yet it takes development and maturity to learn to be accepting and non judgmental, to appreciate your partner just the way he or she is. The good part about this advice is that we own our feelings, we control our words and actions which means it’s up to us to achieve a deeper level of happiness if we are willing to do the necessary work on ourselves. E-mail Jacqui your question: info@veryprivate.com or by regular mail to: PO Box 491341, Los Angeles, CA 90049. Visit: www.veryprivate.com. We never reveal or give out names or addresses. © 2004 Brandwynne Corp. All rights reserved.					List of Newspapers Presenting Column Reaching over 8.9 Million Readers

						July 2004 "He pressures me to have sex but I'm not ready. What do I do?" June 2004 What is intimacy? May 2004 Chemistry? April 2004 She just kept spending and i didn't put my foot down March 2004 What men would like you to know but don't dare talk about February 2004 Overcoming the fear of loving? January 2004 Age difference - can it work? December 2003 The fifteen minutes love investment plan July 2003 The fifteen minutes love investment plan June 2003 Falling in love - the unconscious did it May 2003 Couples and Intimacy - the Basics! April 2003 43% of American women are sexually dysfunctional? Hype or Reality? March 2003 How to reconnect when suddenly single at age 50,because of divorce or widowhood? February 2003 When "if'" onlys stands in the way of love. January 2003 The Knight to solve your relationship problems is in your heart. December 2002 How Can I get him to act? November 2002 Winning against yourself October 2002 Recapture health & energy September 2002 I'm terrified of getting hurt again August 2002 Low self-esteem, is there a way I can change? July 2002 Stop the hurting and start the loving June 2002 The Cat or Me? May 2002 A female co-worker is edging in on our marriage April 2002 He lost his job and takes it out on me. March 2002 Turf issues: Old friends vs. a new partner. February 2002: If I say yes, does it mean I settle for money? January 2002 Sign here for a happier life. December 2001 Give each other the gift of good communication. November 2001 Turning negative fear into positive energy. October 2001 What's essential to make a relationship work? September 2001 My husband say's UV rays can cause considerable eye damage. August 2001 His jealousy is causing a lot of tension and I'm very concerned about losing him. July 2001 How to put romance into your vacation. June 2001 Ten good minutes daily equals a closer relationship. May 2001 My wife's doctor never mentioned the risks in taking estrogen! April 2001 I can't keep up and he feels cheated. Shouldn't a 64 year old male be slowing down? March 2001 He admitted he still loved his ex, but wasn't "in love" with her. February 2001 Even while we're making love I feel like I'm not really participating. January 2001 Lack of staying power can it be helped? December 2000 A Holiday Gift: Less Stress, More Joy. October 1999 I'm fifty-six years old and still suffer from minor menopause symptoms.