For a happier, more intimate relationship.

It can happen at any age and when it does, the fabulous, dizzying feeling of falling in love has no equal. Nothing in life produces quite such a heady high. And when it happens, we all want to believe that the magic will last a lifetime.
“My heart literally melted when I first meet him” swoons one newly-in-love woman. A man who has recently fallen under the love spell says, “We met and we clicked. I knew we would be soul-mates for life.”

Usually we ascribe the glorious feelings to the workings of our heart and soul when we talk about our falling in love. Yet science tells a different story. Research made possible with the new imaging technologies points to the brain as the trigger mechanism for falling in love.
“Changes occur in our brain chemistry to make falling in love happen,” says psychologist Dennis Sugrue, PhD, associate professor at the University of Michigan Medical School. Quite a number of other noted researchers corroborate these facts. Several have actually taken MRI images of the brain of people in the early stages of love. Lucy Brown, Professor of Neuroscience at Albert Einstein College of Medicine reports that “she too found key activity in the ventral segmental and other areas of the brain’s reward system. That’s the same area that also records activity when cocaine addict gets an injection of cocaine. Being “high on cocaine or love” seems to have some similarity.

“Behaviorally”, said Dr. Brown, being in love is very similar to addictive behavior. It is probable that more of the dopamine system is used,” she comments.
A group of Italian researchers focusing specifically on brain chemicals reported interesting results. They divided people into three groups: The first had obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). The second were couples that had recently fallen in love. The third, normal group did not show any specific behavioral patterns. Using blood tests they screened all participants for a powerful chemical that influences serotonin, the mood regulating neurotransmitter. It is a known fact that serotonin levels drop in people with OCD. And, not surprisingly, low levels of serotonin were found in the OCD group. The “normal” group registered normal serotonin levels. Surprisingly, the “newly-in-love” group’s serotonin levels were as low as those in the people with OCD disorder. Based on these results the doctors speculated that the heady feelings during the early stages of love may be caused by our brain chemistry and are outside of our control. “It is quite well known that people in love often demonstrate obsessive compulsive behavior”, adds Dr. Brown. “They do things that they would never think of doing under other circumstances, such as quitting their jobs without a moment’s hesitation to follow their loved one anywhere.”

Eventually, however, reality sets in. The honeymoon phase of any relationship simmers down much to the lovers’ chagrin. That is the time when bonding, a deeper sense of belonging and loving takes over, and a different feeling of growing and continuous love sustains the relationship. If, on the other hand, this transformation does not occur, and we are “literally falling out of love” with the person of our previous adoration, then we need to realize that what happened was a mere infatuation and not the real thing. In such cases we often hear partners complain that “he or she has completely changed since we met”. That may not be the case. More probable is the fact that our perceptions and feelings of love have changed. Did the brain do it? We don’t know for sure but there is a good possibility that the circuitous circuitry of our brain had a hand in the ongoing drama of love.

Jacqui

E-mail Jacqui your question to Jacqui at contact.veryprivate@gmail.com. Visit: www.veryprivate.com. We never reveal or give out names or addresses. © 2007 Brandwynne Corp. All rights reserved.

Resources to Help with elderly parents

September 2007
"Heart versus Brain - which makes the love connection?"

August 2007
"Are you loosing your crowning glory?"

July 2007
"Coupling After 50 - Is Companionship Enough?"

June 2007
"Revitalizing Sexual Desire At Any Age."

May 2007
"The Dreaded Mammogram Could Be Your Greatest Gift"

April 2007
"Go with the Heart!"

October 2004
"Chemistry or Friendship - what's more important to start a relationship?"

September 2004
"How can I tell him about his ODOR problem and not offend him?"

August 2004
"Four Secrets That Make For Happiness!"

July 2004
"He pressures me to have sex but I'm not ready. What do I do?"

June 2004
What is Intimacy?

May 2004
Chemistry?

April 2004
She just kept spending and i didn't put my foot down

March 2004
What men would like you to know but don't dare talk about

February 2004
Overcoming the fear of loving?

January 2004
Age difference - can it work?

December 2003
The fifteen minutes love investment plan

July 2003
The fifteen minutes love investment plan

June 2003
Falling in love - the unconscious did it

May 2003
Couples and Intimacy - the Basics!

April 2003
43% of American women are sexually dysfunctional? Hype or Reality?

March 2003
How to reconnect when suddenly single at age 50,because of divorce or widowhood?

February 2003
When "if' only's" stand in the way of love.

January 2003
The Knight to solve your relationship problems is in your heart.

December 2002
How Can I get him to act?

November 2002
Winning against yourself

October 2002
Recapture health & energy

September 2002
I'm terrified of getting hurt again

August 2002
Low self-esteem, is there a way I can change?

July 2002
Stop the hurting and start the loving

June 2002
The Cat or Me?

May 2002
A female co-worker is edging in on our marriage

April 2002
He lost his job and takes it out on me.

March 2002
Turf issues: Old friends vs. a new partner.

February 2002:
If I say yes, does it mean I settle for money?

January 2002
Sign here for a happier life.

December 2001
Give each other the gift of good communication.

November 2001
Turning negative fear into positive energy.

October 2001
What's essential to make a relationship work?

September 2001
My husband say's UV rays can cause considerable eye damage.

August 2001
His jealousy is causing a lot of tension and I'm very concerned about losing him.

July 2001
How to put romance into your vacation.