Dear Jacqui,
I'm only 23, have two children and I lost my desire for sex. I really don't think about it any more. Sometimes sex is painful, but it's more than that. It was never painful before I got married. I love my husband but I don't know what's wrong with me. Stacey

Dear Stacey,
Many things can affect your loss of sexual desire, especially pain. You wrote to me that sex was painful after you got married. The very anticipation of pain can repress your sexual desire, which can change the way you feel about intimacy.

Furthermore, the beginning of a relationship is always more exciting and often the time when couples are most attracted to each other. The adventure is new; life seems most promising. After marriage, as you get to know each other, little problems arise. But in a good relationship love evolves from infatuation to a deeper, more trusting relationship. Sex also changes and there is nothing wrong with it.

What I believe is needed in your marriage is more openness, more communication. You shouldn't have sex out of guilt, ever. Intimacy is about pleasure, giving each other pleasure. Start talking, communicating and finding all the ways to make each other happy in bed and out. Why don't you try to talk to your husband about the things you feel deep in your heart and ask him to share with you his feelings?

That is the only way you can become closer again, regain trust and build your love. You're in it together. You both really want to make your life better, you both have to make a deep commitment to be in each other's life and then do it. Spend time together to talk, to play, and really value each other's company.

Remember what you loved about out each other.Maybe seek the help of a couples? therapist. Many communities offer these services for free. Or attend a couple's workshop.

You clearly still have love for each other and you have a lot of feelings invested. If you really desire to find the way back to a happier, closer relationship, it is in your hands. Also, think real hard about what's going on in your individual lives. If you cannot accept yourself, if you're unhappy with your life, it's almost impossible to accepting and loving to your partner.

So it starts with your self. Find out what's going on in your heart. Why you feel down and distanced. You inner voice does know. Maybe discuss your feelings with a close friend or your husband. I wish you the courage to speak to each other, openly, frankly and truthfully. It's the only way to find to each other again.

Jacqui





	"I'm young, have two children, and lost my desire for sex" Dear Jacqui, I'm only 23, have two children and I lost my desire for sex. I really don't think about it any more. Sometimes sex is painful, but it's more than that. It was never painful before I got married. I love my husband but I don't know what's wrong with me. Stacey Dear Stacey, Many things can affect your loss of sexual desire, especially pain. You wrote to me that sex was painful after you got married. The very anticipation of pain can repress your sexual desire, which can change the way you feel about intimacy. Furthermore, the beginning of a relationship is always more exciting and often the time when couples are most attracted to each other. The adventure is new; life seems most promising. After marriage, as you get to know each other, little problems arise. But in a good relationship love evolves from infatuation to a deeper, more trusting relationship. Sex also changes and there is nothing wrong with it. What I believe is needed in your marriage is more openness, more communication. You shouldn't have sex out of guilt, ever. Intimacy is about pleasure, giving each other pleasure. Start talking, communicating and finding all the ways to make each other happy in bed and out. Why don't you try to talk to your husband about the things you feel deep in your heart and ask him to share with you his feelings? That is the only way you can become closer again, regain trust and build your love. You're in it together. You both really want to make your life better, you both have to make a deep commitment to be in each other's life and then do it. Spend time together to talk, to play, and really value each other's company. Remember what you loved about out each other.Maybe seek the help of a couples? therapist. Many communities offer these services for free. Or attend a couple's workshop. You clearly still have love for each other and you have a lot of feelings invested. If you really desire to find the way back to a happier, closer relationship, it is in your hands. Also, think real hard about what's going on in your individual lives. If you cannot accept yourself, if you're unhappy with your life, it's almost impossible to accepting and loving to your partner. So it starts with your self. Find out what's going on in your heart. Why you feel down and distanced. You inner voice does know. Maybe discuss your feelings with a close friend or your husband. I wish you the courage to speak to each other, openly, frankly and truthfully. It's the only way to find to each other again. Jacqui Copyright 2002 Brandwynne Corporation. All rights reserved. Thank you for your trust.

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