I'm seeing a man that I knew previously. Matter of fact, twenty-five years ago he broke up a week before our marriage, now he wants to marry me. I remained single because he was the love my life. Moreover, he has two teenage daughters from two failed marriages (talk about baggage). Now I'm having second thoughts, especially since our relationship is starting to get contentious, I'm starting to notice the same old guy as before. Susie

Dear Susie,
I heard a certain doubt when I read your letter. Frankly, I think there is good reason for concern. If you cannot even communicate in an open and positive way it is unlikely that things will be much different if your relationship progresses into a full-blown marriage. Either you find common ground on principal matters before you proceed to marriage or you don't. If he could not commit to your relationship twenty-five years ago and has not put in serious work to change, the probability is he is no more able to commit today. Possibly his failure of being able to build and maintain a good marriage is due to the same emotional limitations or conflicts.

However, I have some questions that you should answer to yourself. What is it that rekindled your feelings for him in you? Are you lonely? Are you worried after all these years you are still single? I suggest you focus on you before thinking about him. What is that you want in your life? What kind of relationship do you really seek? What are the characteristics that you demand in a partner? And does he fit that bill? If you want to find a truly compatible partner these are the questions you need to answer first. And then make a commitment that this goal becomes a priority in your life. The old adage is true we usually get what we want. Think about that.
Best wishes.

Jacqui





	"Twenty five years ago he broke-up a week before the marriage, now he wants to marry me" I'm seeing a man that I knew previously. Matter of fact, twenty-five years ago he broke up a week before our marriage, now he wants to marry me. I remained single because he was the love my life. Moreover, he has two teenage daughters from two failed marriages (talk about baggage). Now I'm having second thoughts, especially since our relationship is starting to get contentious, I'm starting to notice the same old guy as before. Susie Dear Susie, I heard a certain doubt when I read your letter. Frankly, I think there is good reason for concern. If you cannot even communicate in an open and positive way it is unlikely that things will be much different if your relationship progresses into a full-blown marriage. Either you find common ground on principal matters before you proceed to marriage or you don't. If he could not commit to your relationship twenty-five years ago and has not put in serious work to change, the probability is he is no more able to commit today. Possibly his failure of being able to build and maintain a good marriage is due to the same emotional limitations or conflicts. However, I have some questions that you should answer to yourself. What is it that rekindled your feelings for him in you? Are you lonely? Are you worried after all these years you are still single? I suggest you focus on you before thinking about him. What is that you want in your life? What kind of relationship do you really seek? What are the characteristics that you demand in a partner? And does he fit that bill? If you want to find a truly compatible partner these are the questions you need to answer first. And then make a commitment that this goal becomes a priority in your life. The old adage is true we usually get what we want. Think about that. Best wishes. Jacqui Copyright 2003 Brandwynne Corporation. All rights reserved. Thank you for your trust.

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