Dear Jacqui,
Usually its men who can't show their true feelings, but I being a woman seem to have the same problem. If the person I'm dating wants to know more about me and wants to get closer on an emotional level (not sexual), I back away.

When I'm away from the one I'm dating, I will miss him, but when we're together again I get the feeling I'm suffocating from the relationship. I really want to have a close intimate relationship with someone. I want to be able to share my life in a committed relationship. What is wrong with me, and how do I get over these feelings?
Lilly

Dear Lilly,
Most probably you experienced certain difficult interactions very early in your childhood that still traumatize you and make it difficult for you to establish intimate relationships. There is nothing "wrong" with you, but

I suggest you get some help to discuss these problems with a trained therapist so you can understand them and reverse your behavior patterns. In each community there are social counseling services, which are available to you--many times these are free.

Otherwise you might wish to contact a therapist that can coach you over the Internet or the telephone, at a fee. A licensed therapist we know is Dr. Tina Tessina. You can visit her web site www.tinatessina.com. Many people share similar concerns and with your positive attitude I know you can overcome it.

Jacqui

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