Dear Jacqui:
We have been together for two years and our relationship is really good in all ways but? he would love it if I would be more assertive in bed. How do I overcome my natural shyness and become more of a seductress? Sue

Dear Sue:
Many women feel like you. Little girls are usually taught to leave the role of the aggressor to the man. Even today the image of a sexually liberated or even assertive women still raises eyebrows in some circles.

The trick is to reevaluate your own attitude toward sexuality. What do you think about initiating intimacy? What makes you feel shy and hesitant? Maybe you're worried that you're not the experienced lover you'd like to be. In lovemaking as in all other things we can always improve.

We particularly recommend two books by Lou Paget, one for women, Lovers Gift Pack, one for men, How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure. They are factual, straightforward and nonjudgmental.

Once you have examined the subject a little more closely, you might have a change of feeling and learn to enjoy being the initiator. You don't have to be obvious. Maybe you could think of gentle ways to give him the signal. Suggesting a backrub with a special oil which you administer might be a natural beginning.

Leaving him an enticing note on his pillow, choosing the music that has special meaning to you both can be a delicate message to let him know you're interested. While a change of roles might feel a little awkward at first, you may find that over time your loving participation will reward you both.

Jacqui





	How to be more of a seductress. Dear Jacqui: We have been together for two years and our relationship is really good in all ways but? he would love it if I would be more assertive in bed. How do I overcome my natural shyness and become more of a seductress? Sue Dear Sue: Many women feel like you. Little girls are usually taught to leave the role of the aggressor to the man. Even today the image of a sexually liberated or even assertive women still raises eyebrows in some circles. The trick is to reevaluate your own attitude toward sexuality. What do you think about initiating intimacy? What makes you feel shy and hesitant? Maybe you're worried that you're not the experienced lover you'd like to be. In lovemaking as in all other things we can always improve. We particularly recommend two books by Lou Paget, one for women, Lovers Gift Pack, one for men, How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure. They are factual, straightforward and nonjudgmental. Once you have examined the subject a little more closely, you might have a change of feeling and learn to enjoy being the initiator. You don't have to be obvious. Maybe you could think of gentle ways to give him the signal. Suggesting a backrub with a special oil which you administer might be a natural beginning. Leaving him an enticing note on his pillow, choosing the music that has special meaning to you both can be a delicate message to let him know you're interested. While a change of roles might feel a little awkward at first, you may find that over time your loving participation will reward you both. Jacqui Copyright 2000 Brandwynne Corporation. All rights reserved.

	Back to Love & Relationships Q & A