Dear Jacqui,
We've been married for three years before that we were together for two. Recently we've been fighting because I've been taking long working assignments overseas. I know I hurt her and I'm sorry. She say's she cares for me, but resents that I'm always away. Now were thinking about divorce and we are both stubborn. I'm afraid my marriage is in trouble. Ricky

Dear Ricky,
It seems that what has always been lacking in your relationship is clear and open communication. In fact, even though the two of you still have deep feelings for each other you have not found a way to talk without rancor and try to find a solution to at least give your relationship another try.

Communicating is a basic process that neither of you understands or, at least in the past, wished to learn. I believe you need intervention at this point and would strongly suggest seeing a marriage counselor together if you can both agree to that. It would give you a chance to learn to understand each other, to communicate with each other in a better and more productive way. Your investment is in yourself and each other. It will serve you for the rest of your lives. I believe you should give it at least six months at which time you can make a better decision as regards the future of your relationship.

Of course this action requires a commitment from both of you. Is your wife willing to sit down with you and at least discuss this possibility? I know you have the willingness to re-invest in the relationship. So you need to take the first step and reach her emotionally, with caring, and let her see the benefit of such a decision rather than letting a potential good relationship slip out of your lives.

I wish you both courage and success.
Jacqui

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