Dear Jacqui,
I am in love with a married man. When he is with me, he treats me nicely and he buy's me things. At night and on holidays, however, it hurts me to know he is with his wife. He say's his wife is boring, out of shape, and nags all the time. I think he does like me but I think he is only using me for sex, which is very passionate. How can I find out whether he is using me for sex or does he really love me? Please help.
Sincerely, Vulnerable.

Dear Vulnerable,
I think you are asking me the wrong question. What you should concentrate on is what you feel and what you want out of this relationship? How deeply are you attached to this man? Do you love him or are you just sexually attracted to him? Do you expect him to leave his marriage and be with you? Why are you in a relationship with a married man? You could be with a man that is free and there for you.

What do you mean when you say "he treats me nicely". People who love each other are expected to be caring and good to each other. I am not making any judgments about moral issues; I am trying to help you focus about your feelings, your life and your future?

Think about these issues and listen to what your heart says. If your feelings tell you that he is using you, your feelings are probably right. Our inner voice is the one we have to listen to. Maybe, by sharing with a good friend about what you feel, or even talking to a therapist a couple of time, these issues will become clarified, with kind wishes.

Jacqui

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