Dear Jacqui,
I lost all trust in men over the years and I don't have much luck when it comes to relationships. When ever I want to see my new boy friend he says he has to work. Do you think asking for a man's time is too demanding? I'm I doing something wrong? Melissa

Dear Melissa
No, you are not doing something wrong. Perhaps your boy friend is not interested in pursuing a relationship. One step forward, two steps back. I have think he is really unsure of his feelings or how to proceed. Your observation that he hides in his work may be quite correct. The real issue is, what do you want to do about it? Nobody, not even you, can control or change the feelings or behavior of the other partner.

So all you can do is concentrate on what you feel and what makes sense for you. You have several options. Loneliness is not easy. We all want someone to love in our lives. But it is not the reason to be with a partner that causes us more hurt than happiness.

If you have been in an abusive relationship, you must take special care not to slip into another one. Work on yourself, say to yourself that you deserve a caring and loving man in your life because you are a caring and loving woman. Concentrate on your assets. Write them down. Reread all the good things you are. I strongly believe you need to reinforce the good feelings that you have about yourself, revisit your positive list every day, learn to accept and love yourself.

That will help you more than anything else to attract a loving man into your life.All this doesn't mean that you cannot give your boy friend more time.See what happens. See if he changes his behavior once he gets to know you better. Maybe some of his mistrust will evaporate as he gets to know you more and he can become a more steady and loving partner.

Remember, you have a lot of gifts in your life. Maybe children, maybe a loving family. There are more ways to enrich your life now and not feel lonely even if you may loose your new boyfriend. Maybe you should pursue an interest you've always had or join a sports activity, a group of people with whom you have a common interest. As one door closes another opens. And then, know this. You are married to yourself longer than to anybody else. So embrace who you are, I'm sure there is much in you that you can find to embrace. I hope this is of some help.

Jacqui





	"Do you think asking for a man's time is too demanding?" Dear Jacqui, I lost all trust in men over the years and I don't have much luck when it comes to relationships. When ever I want to see my new boy friend he says he has to work. Do you think asking for a man's time is too demanding? I'm I doing something wrong? Melissa Dear Melissa No, you are not doing something wrong. Perhaps your boy friend is not interested in pursuing a relationship. One step forward, two steps back. I have think he is really unsure of his feelings or how to proceed. Your observation that he hides in his work may be quite correct. The real issue is, what do you want to do about it? Nobody, not even you, can control or change the feelings or behavior of the other partner. So all you can do is concentrate on what you feel and what makes sense for you. You have several options. Loneliness is not easy. We all want someone to love in our lives. But it is not the reason to be with a partner that causes us more hurt than happiness. If you have been in an abusive relationship, you must take special care not to slip into another one. Work on yourself, say to yourself that you deserve a caring and loving man in your life because you are a caring and loving woman. Concentrate on your assets. Write them down. Reread all the good things you are. I strongly believe you need to reinforce the good feelings that you have about yourself, revisit your positive list every day, learn to accept and love yourself. That will help you more than anything else to attract a loving man into your life.All this doesn't mean that you cannot give your boy friend more time.See what happens. See if he changes his behavior once he gets to know you better. Maybe some of his mistrust will evaporate as he gets to know you more and he can become a more steady and loving partner. Remember, you have a lot of gifts in your life. Maybe children, maybe a loving family. There are more ways to enrich your life now and not feel lonely even if you may loose your new boyfriend. Maybe you should pursue an interest you've always had or join a sports activity, a group of people with whom you have a common interest. As one door closes another opens. And then, know this. You are married to yourself longer than to anybody else. So embrace who you are, I'm sure there is much in you that you can find to embrace. I hope this is of some help. Jacqui Copyright 2003 Brandwynne Corporation. All rights reserved. Thank you for your trust.

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