Dear Jacqui:
I don't understand what is wrong with me? I have the most patient and loving boyfriend in the world and yet, when it comes time to get intimate, I don't always have a sexual drive, nor am I wet! Even if I am feeling good I still can't get going without help from him. I don't have the desire for sex all the time...or very often.

Does this mean that I am gay? I am attracted to men --not women. We have the best relationship ever and if only this was not such a huge problem, maybe "I" could be his chosen one. All I want is to have a desire for sex. Maybe some of that vaginal cream you have can help? I am at a loss for answers other than letting him go because I can't be all that he needs.
Louise

Dear Louise:
Above all, be positive. You have a wonderful and loving man in your life. There is no reason to "quit" before trying to solve your problem, and I am quite sure that it can be solved.

Many women have low libido, a low sex drive. Often this is caused by hormonal imbalance or, sometimes, by psychological trauma. I suggest you see a gynecologist first and have your hormone levels checked. Your doctor can then recommend the necessary remedy, if required. If that's not the case, there might be a psychological problem that's bothering you and keeps interfering with your ability to desire intimacy.

Have you really ever thought about how you feel about sexuality, about your desire to be with your man, of how you want to feel? If you have any confusion about it, maybe you should see a counselor and discuss the issues. Additionally, it is a good idea to think "sexy." Imagine what would be the most wonderful setting for the two of you to make love.

Think of all the things that would make the experience sensuous: Scented candles, music that means a lot to both of you, a little Very Private intimate moisturizer to get you going, maybe you can even read a book on sensuality together.

Instead of doubting your ability to "be turned on," try to be positive and indulge in making it happen. Now to your second question, no, you are not gay -- you are just confounded by your lack of sexual drive.

Finally I would like to share with you that most women like and need foreplay, "a little help from their mate," as you call it. Foreplay should not be a duty for either one of you, it should be part of the pleasure you give each other. It is really important that you learn to share and discuss your intimacy needs with your partner.

The more you can share the more your can admit to each other what it exactly that you like and he likes, the closer you will feel. It is the basis for building a happier sexual life and a better relationship.

Jacqui





	I don't have a desire for sex, very often. Dear Jacqui: I don't understand what is wrong with me? I have the most patient and loving boyfriend in the world and yet, when it comes time to get intimate, I don't always have a sexual drive, nor am I wet! Even if I am feeling good I still can't get going without help from him. I don't have the desire for sex all the time...or very often. Does this mean that I am gay? I am attracted to men --not women. We have the best relationship ever and if only this was not such a huge problem, maybe "I" could be his chosen one. All I want is to have a desire for sex. Maybe some of that vaginal cream you have can help? I am at a loss for answers other than letting him go because I can't be all that he needs. Louise Dear Louise: Above all, be positive. You have a wonderful and loving man in your life. There is no reason to "quit" before trying to solve your problem, and I am quite sure that it can be solved. Many women have low libido, a low sex drive. Often this is caused by hormonal imbalance or, sometimes, by psychological trauma. I suggest you see a gynecologist first and have your hormone levels checked. Your doctor can then recommend the necessary remedy, if required. If that's not the case, there might be a psychological problem that's bothering you and keeps interfering with your ability to desire intimacy. Have you really ever thought about how you feel about sexuality, about your desire to be with your man, of how you want to feel? If you have any confusion about it, maybe you should see a counselor and discuss the issues. Additionally, it is a good idea to think "sexy." Imagine what would be the most wonderful setting for the two of you to make love. Think of all the things that would make the experience sensuous: Scented candles, music that means a lot to both of you, a little Very Private intimate moisturizer to get you going, maybe you can even read a book on sensuality together. Instead of doubting your ability to "be turned on," try to be positive and indulge in making it happen. Now to your second question, no, you are not gay -- you are just confounded by your lack of sexual drive. Finally I would like to share with you that most women like and need foreplay, "a little help from their mate," as you call it. Foreplay should not be a duty for either one of you, it should be part of the pleasure you give each other. It is really important that you learn to share and discuss your intimacy needs with your partner. The more you can share the more your can admit to each other what it exactly that you like and he likes, the closer you will feel. It is the basis for building a happier sexual life and a better relationship. Jacqui Copyright 2000 Brandwynne Corporation. All rights reserved.

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