Dear Jacqui:
I Need some advice about a problem I've had since my son was born. My husband and I made love until the seventh week after the delivery. He was very gentle and understanding so he didn't make me very uncomfortable, but now that I am completely healed we make love as we used to. The problem is that he is very long and if he goes deep it hurts. It hurts only when he is moving and goes deep, but it doesn't when he just goes deep and stays there. It feels like a menstruation cramp, on my back and my belly, and it goes away when he separates a little bit.

We have tried different positions but it's the same. I really like our sexual life, he is very nice, gentle, understanding and lovely, but I would like to enjoy his full penetration without trouble, because when it doesn't hurt it's very pleasurable. What can I do about it?
Carol

Dear Carol:
Having experienced pain during intercourse you probably approach the experience with apprehension which is quite understandable. Consequently, you may not be completely relaxed. Your muscles in your vagina may literally tighten which, of course, causes more discomfort. In essence, your body is not ready for penetration which should only occur when both partners absolutely cannot stand it any longer before joining together. That should be the imperative feeling.

Lovemaking is about pleasure, not about pain. A renowned sex therapist believes that it is preferable for the women to have an orgasm first before she is entered. In other words take your time, pleasure each other, find all the ways that excite you or your husband before you move to the penetration step. And if the discomfort persists then tell your husband not to push that deeply.There is no reason why he shouldn't enjoy lovemaking without having to thrust all the way. Another possibility is to find an angle that's more comfortable for both of you.

I also suggest you to use an intimate moisturizer before intimacy to make the beginning of lovemaking more comfortable and to protect your vaginal tissue. Definitely use a moisturizer when you engage in anal sex to ease entry. Using a natural intimate moisturizing product can heighten the sexual experience and increase the pleasure besides making you more comfortable. Many couples enjoy the playfulness of applying it to each other.

Be sure the product you choose is fragrance free, pH balanced and FDA approved such as Very Private Intimate Moisture is for your protection. Many mass market brands contain flavors, fragrance, dyes or other additives ingredients that should absolutely not be used inside the body. It is essential that you have a caring and open discussion with your husband about all these subjects.

You have to be in tune emotionally to be in tune sexually. Now that you have taken the first step to understanding your problems better, find the courage to open up and share these issues and the decision making with your partner. Good Luck!

Jacqui




	"Penetration should only occur when both partners cannot stand it any longer before joining together." Dear Jacqui: I Need some advice about a problem I've had since my son was born. My husband and I made love until the seventh week after the delivery. He was very gentle and understanding so he didn't make me very uncomfortable, but now that I am completely healed we make love as we used to. The problem is that he is very long and if he goes deep it hurts. It hurts only when he is moving and goes deep, but it doesn't when he just goes deep and stays there. It feels like a menstruation cramp, on my back and my belly, and it goes away when he separates a little bit. We have tried different positions but it's the same. I really like our sexual life, he is very nice, gentle, understanding and lovely, but I would like to enjoy his full penetration without trouble, because when it doesn't hurt it's very pleasurable. What can I do about it? Carol Dear Carol: Having experienced pain during intercourse you probably approach the experience with apprehension which is quite understandable. Consequently, you may not be completely relaxed. Your muscles in your vagina may literally tighten which, of course, causes more discomfort. In essence, your body is not ready for penetration which should only occur when both partners absolutely cannot stand it any longer before joining together. That should be the imperative feeling. Lovemaking is about pleasure, not about pain. A renowned sex therapist believes that it is preferable for the women to have an orgasm first before she is entered. In other words take your time, pleasure each other, find all the ways that excite you or your husband before you move to the penetration step. And if the discomfort persists then tell your husband not to push that deeply.There is no reason why he shouldn't enjoy lovemaking without having to thrust all the way. Another possibility is to find an angle that's more comfortable for both of you. I also suggest you to use an intimate moisturizer before intimacy to make the beginning of lovemaking more comfortable and to protect your vaginal tissue. Definitely use a moisturizer when you engage in anal sex to ease entry. Using a natural intimate moisturizing product can heighten the sexual experience and increase the pleasure besides making you more comfortable. Many couples enjoy the playfulness of applying it to each other. Be sure the product you choose is fragrance free, pH balanced and FDA approved such as Very Private Intimate Moisture is for your protection. Many mass market brands contain flavors, fragrance, dyes or other additives ingredients that should absolutely not be used inside the body. It is essential that you have a caring and open discussion with your husband about all these subjects. You have to be in tune emotionally to be in tune sexually. Now that you have taken the first step to understanding your problems better, find the courage to open up and share these issues and the decision making with your partner. Good Luck! Jacqui Copyright 2000 Brandwynne Corporation. All Rights Reserved.

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