Dear Jacqui:
Like all my buddies who went solo after a long marriage, I used to date a lot of women after my divorce. It was great fun but eventually it got a little out of control so I narrowed down the playing field and focused on just two women I really liked. I've been dating both for nearly a year.

Now I'm getting real pressure from both. One wants to get married and the other wants to move in. What's worse, I think I have fallen in love with both of them, I don't really want to loose either one. That's the last thing I ever expected to happen. I've never had this kind of conflict and I don't seem to be able to resolve it. Please help!
Stuart

Dear Stuart:
A suave French friend of mine says the true test for a man to know how he feels about a woman is to take her on an island for three weeks, a place without TV, phones or laptops and no access to major diversions. Then see how you get along. It's an interesting idea though not too practical.

I actually think your conflict is of a different nature. I believe you have two women in your life because you are not ready to make a deeper commitment to a single person at this time. There's safety in numbers and keeping two women involved with you, yet at a safe distance, is what you have and what feels comfortable. There is nothing wrong with not being ready for a new lifetime commitment.

But you owe it to yourself and most definitely your partners to deal with the issue with honesty and integrity. When you do, I suspect the "triangle" issue will solve itself.
Jacqui

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