"I Cannot Sustain an
Erection for Long Periods."

Dear Jacqui,
I cannot sustain an erection for long periods. Within minutes of penetration things seem to go flat. But after further foreplay I am back to normal until penetration takes place. It is a viscous cycle, which I can't understand.

My partner is most understanding, but I'm unable to ejaculate through normal intercourse, which now has become a great worry for me. Is there any sort of medication, or creams, I could use. I am reasonably fit and we have regular and active sex life except for this problem. Please can you help, Doug

Dear Doug,
It is quite clear that you are a fully functioning man, otherwise you would not have an erection in the first place. I suspect there is some psychological hurdle that plays on your subconscious that brings about the loss of erection.

And, quite rightly, the more apprehensive you are the more likely it will happen. It is indeed a viscous cycle but I am sure it can be broken.The trick is to define whether the problem is physiological or psychological. So I have two suggestions:

First, I would suggest that you see an urologist and have your hormone levels tested. Sometimes hormone levels can be the cause of these problems or medical conditions such as diabetes and others. So you first want to rule out that there is no medical problem that causes your symptoms.

Secondly, yes, there are medications that will boost and maintain your erection. I am sure you have heard of "Viagra" and there are other medications. However, since they cause side effects a doctor can only prescribe them after proper examination.

Thirdly, can you remember when the problem first occurred? Think back when it happened and what the circumstances were. I suspect there might be a psychological event that could have triggered the symptom the first time. You might wish to discuss this with a therapist or sexual counselor.

It may indeed help you to function quite normally again. And finally, take the pressure off yourself. Sometimes men go through periods where they have self doubts and performance pressure starts to interfere with their enjoyment and participation of a full sexual life.

Sexuality is a large and manifold experience. It is not one act. The act of penetration is just one phase. The idea is to enjoy all of it.

Focus on how to please her and how to be pleased. Be open with each other. Show each other what you like, what spot is most sensitive. Guide each other and be conscious of what each experience, stroking, kissing, and touching feels like. Remember, women love the entire sexual experience, many find penetration less exciting than other activities. With kind wishes,

Jacqui

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