Dear Jacqui,
My wife and I have never been able to have children and that is okay with us. The problem is that since she has never had a child, intercourse is very painful for her. I try to take it easy but at that time my control isn't too good .My question is: What would you suggest I do to help her enjoy intercourse more or should I just keep masturbating and not bother her about this?
Sincerely yours, Bud

Dear Bud,
Many women have never had children and enjoy intercourse enormously and without pain. And that's just the point of sexuality, it should be pleasurable and bring both of you joy. So I suggest the following.

First of all you really need to have a loving and open talk about intimacy. What are your wife's feelings about sex, what are yours? Has she ever enjoyed it or what does excite her? Try to be really frank with each other.

Share your intimate desires and needs. What does she like, being stroked, being kissed, being stimulated manually or orally and how exactly does she like it? And what is it that you enjoy? Be courageous, be detailed, be frank. When it comes to sexuality you can't be too specific. After all, you want to make each other happy so you have to learn about each other's deep wishes.

Often the problem in sexuality starts because intercourse happens too quickly and the women is not nearly ready. So entry becomes uncomfortable and the experience is less than pleasurable. Entering the women should only happen when both partners really can't wait any longer. In many cases it is preferable to have intercourse after the woman has already come to orgasm.

And finally, there are some products that facilitate intimacy. Try an intimate moisturizer, preferably one that's FDA approved, pH balanced and fragrance free such as Very Private Intimate Moisture. Apply a little to each other to make the beginning of intimacy easier. Then try to change the angle at which you enter her so it?s more comfortable. A little pillow may help or a different position which might be much more comfortable for your partner.

Finally, it is possible that since your wife anticipates pain she tightens up emotionally and physically. That means that her vaginal muscles actually tighten which makes everything more difficult.

So try to create a relaxed loving atmosphere before progressing to lovemaking. If it is too difficult for you two to overcome some of these sexual barriers, I suggest you see a sex therapist together. I know for sure, not having had children should not stop you from having a wonderful intimate life together.

Jacqui




	How can I help her enjoy intercourse more or should I just keep masturbating and not bother her? Dear Jacqui, My wife and I have never been able to have children and that is okay with us. The problem is that since she has never had a child, intercourse is very painful for her. I try to take it easy but at that time my control isn't too good .My question is: What would you suggest I do to help her enjoy intercourse more or should I just keep masturbating and not bother her about this? Sincerely yours, Bud Dear Bud, Many women have never had children and enjoy intercourse enormously and without pain. And that's just the point of sexuality, it should be pleasurable and bring both of you joy. So I suggest the following. First of all you really need to have a loving and open talk about intimacy. What are your wife's feelings about sex, what are yours? Has she ever enjoyed it or what does excite her? Try to be really frank with each other. Share your intimate desires and needs. What does she like, being stroked, being kissed, being stimulated manually or orally and how exactly does she like it? And what is it that you enjoy? Be courageous, be detailed, be frank. When it comes to sexuality you can't be too specific. After all, you want to make each other happy so you have to learn about each other's deep wishes. Often the problem in sexuality starts because intercourse happens too quickly and the women is not nearly ready. So entry becomes uncomfortable and the experience is less than pleasurable. Entering the women should only happen when both partners really can't wait any longer. In many cases it is preferable to have intercourse after the woman has already come to orgasm. And finally, there are some products that facilitate intimacy. Try an intimate moisturizer, preferably one that's FDA approved, pH balanced and fragrance free such as Very Private Intimate Moisture. Apply a little to each other to make the beginning of intimacy easier. Then try to change the angle at which you enter her so it?s more comfortable. A little pillow may help or a different position which might be much more comfortable for your partner. Finally, it is possible that since your wife anticipates pain she tightens up emotionally and physically. That means that her vaginal muscles actually tighten which makes everything more difficult. So try to create a relaxed loving atmosphere before progressing to lovemaking. If it is too difficult for you two to overcome some of these sexual barriers, I suggest you see a sex therapist together. I know for sure, not having had children should not stop you from having a wonderful intimate life together. Jacqui Copyright 2000 Brandwynne Corporation. All Rights Reserved.

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